Friends to Lovers with Laurie Lucking

Friends to lovers is my other favorite romance trope, though I've only written it a couple of times, most particularly in Lady Dragon, Tela Du, and The Worth of a King, which I'll be releasing in August.

I have Laurie Lucking here today to give her two cents on how to write the trope, and I will say - the way she handles it in her book, Common, is adorable (and one of the few cases of a forbidden romance that haven't made me run screaming for the hills.)

Laurie Lucking

Christian/Fantasy/Romance/Retellings

Author of Common

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When Friendship Leads to Something More

Friends to lovers is one of my favorite forms of romance. Not only does it happen to apply to my own personal relationship with my now-husband, but some of the most moving fictional couples started out as friends before sparking something more. When two characters form a friendship prior to romance, it adds a certain depth to their relationship. Their attraction is clearly based on more than just looks, and they really know each other - flaws, quirks, and all - which bodes well for the longevity of the relationship. And there's something so fun and satisfying about those key moments where the characters start to view each other in a different light and the platonic nature of the friendship disappears.

But for as satisfying as it can be to read or watch such transformations, they're not always easy to execute! Friends to lovers can be tricky to pull off when writing a romance, so here are some tips for making your characters' relationship interesting and fulfilling for readers.

The Friendship

Obviously, in order to achieve a friends to lovers romance, the characters first need to have an established friendship. But ordinary, drama-free friendships - the kinds we want in real life - aren't necessarily interesting to read about. Which means you need to find a way to make THIS friendship stand out. For example, in my young adult fantasy novel, Common, the main characters start out as childhood friends, but it's far from a simple relationship. She's a maid and he's a prince, and they can only meet in secret in a broom closet, where he teaches her to read (if you're interested in the forbidden romance aspect of their relationship, hop on over to this post on my website). To switch to a very different genre, in Jane Austen's Emma, Emma and Mr. Knightley have a noteworthy friendship because of the closeness of their families and Emma's witty retorts to Mr. Knightley's reprimands. Another example is White Wolf and the Ash Princess by Tammy Lash, in which Jonathan and Izzy's friendship is marred by secrets, yet the way each is uniquely able to comfort and encourage the other makes it beautiful. Whatever it is for your characters, find something memorable to make the initial friendship endearing to readers so they'll be rooting for your couple both as friends and as lovers.

The Timing

I find timing to be one of the trickier aspects of friends to lovers romances. Turn the friends into a couple too soon, and you lose the depth of the friendship and suspense of the transition. But if the characters stay in denial for too long or have too many close calls, eventually readers will get annoyed or question the characters' intelligence. Unfortunately, there's no one magic formula to create perfect timing because it will be different for every story. Just keep in mind that to achieve a true friends to lovers romance there must first be a friendship phase (be it long or short), and the transition can be drawn out for a while, but not to the point where readers want to knock your characters' heads together :) And if the natural timing for their romance comes on the early side, make sure to have another conflict lined up to propel the story forward. In Ella Enchanted, for instance, Gail Carson Levine does a wonderful job adding a romantic element to Ella's relationship with the prince at just the right time to be satisfying, then adding a new conflict to keep readers engaged. On the other hand, as much as I adore L.M. Montgomery, both her Emily of New Moon and Pat of Silver Bush series had me a bit exasperated because the main characters took so long to admit their childhood friends would be their ideal match.

The Transition

Here's where friends to lovers can be the most challenging, but also the most fun! If you execute the set up well, your readers will be on the edges of their seats waiting to see how and when your characters will finally realize they're perfect for each other. But don't satisfy them too quickly :) Part of the appeal of friends to lovers romance is the string of events that leads to the eventual declaration, the close calls that get romance lovers' hearts racing right alongside your characters. The trick is, they have to be subtle. If one character is too obvious, the other character loses the element of surprise or relief that should come in the big reveal. And yet, if there aren't any hints ahead of time, the change in the relationship can feel random or forced. So lay the groundwork with care, making the hints of romance something your character can naturally question. Or if you want to be a little more obvious, put a barrier to the romance in place to keep the characters (and readers!) guessing. You want that critical moment to feel both natural and exciting. In Unblemished by Sara Ella, Eliyana's friendship with Joshua has many moments of romantic tension, but something is holding each of them back. For Eliyana, it's a lack of confidence due to the birthmark covering a large portion of her face. For Joshua, it's an attempt to protect her from his many secrets. The questions and hints throughout much of the story make for a heart-stopping moment when they finally reveal their true feelings. That's the kind of reaction you're going for!

The After-Effects

Some romances end right as the friends become lovers, leaving readers satisfied the characters will live out a happy conclusion to their relationship. But if your story continues beyond the declaration scene, keep in mind that turning a friendship into romance may not be straightforward, and the transition doesn't always happen overnight. Even if both characters are on the same page about the romantic relationship, depending on their personalities, it might feel like an awkward change. What was once a natural camaraderie now feels new and foreign. The characters must adjust to adding a physical component to the relationship, and it may be embarrassing to share the news with family and friends. For example, after Harry kisses a certain young lady in the Harry Potter series, he must then deal with the fallout of confessing to her brother and teasing from other friends. Such after-effects only worsen if one character is very much in love, while the other remains unsure for a time, as illustrated by Anne and Gilbert in L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series. So let your characters enjoy the new romance, but don't make it too easy on them :)

There you have it, the elements to a fantastic friends to lovers romance! Now it's up to you to put them together in a way that works well for your story. What are some of your favorite friends to lovers romances? Do you have any tips to add?

Thanks for reading!